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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Sweet 'N' Single

Turn't up Tuesday presents Sweet 'N' Single

Being single doesn’t have to mean that something is wrong with you or that you are some strange spectacle. Many opt for the single lifestyle for a variety of reasons.
Some may include:

-Not interested
   Ie: Have been hurt in the past and would prefer not to be bothered with the whole thing.
(I've heard of one such brother who chose this route and people in the congregation labelled him as gay.)
-Too busy
   Overburdened with responsibility such as work, school, church etc.
     Waiting on God
-Not ready
  Too young to date
-Don’t see anyone worth their time Or feel opposite gender is immature
-Know themselves and don’t want to be in a compromising situation.
-Are enjoying being alone too much and feel a relationship will tie them down, hamper them. This is especially true if they are quite successful, educationally, financially, socially, etc.
Taking care of a sick family member
A pressing personal issue or issues
Concerned about gold digging, so they’d rather be left alone.
Have a high standard that no one they’ve seen have.

Embrace Your Singleness
Accepting your unique situation is the first step to becoming appreciative of being a single SDA. Don’t let other people pressure you into forming unions with anyone, period.
It’s a common belief in especially in the church that once a woman reaches 30 and hasn’t been married yet, that the chances of them marrying later are practically nonexistent. No one will want to marry an old woman. Or she may have something inherently wrong with her that has kept her from being in a relationship for so long.
This is foolishness. Women being 30 and single is a blessing and not a curse.
Many, (not all) couples that marry pre-30 are prone to have serious issues in the relationship.
Ie: Having children too early
Marrying just because they want ‘holy sex’
Marrying anyone and settling due to pressure from meddlers.
One or both not being mature enough to handle a relationship, let alone marriage.
One or both having not completed a formal education, thus leaving them unable to adequately facilitate the financial aspect of a relationship.
So if you’re 30 and unattached, whether male or female, seek Christ first and everything will fall into place.
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

Being single doesn’t have to be a sour experience. Here are some suggestions on making your single life the sweetest experience ever.

Learn to Ignore Foolishness

Other people can flaunt their accomplishments in your face. Ie: “I got married before you” Don’t become jealous. Ignore these attempts to get you upset. Keep stepping and living righteously. You may learn tha your ex just hooked up with your best friend, church members may constantly try to pair you up with some ‘nice gyal’ or some docta’ need to be respectfully put in their place. Responses like “God’s time is my time” “They that wait upon the Lord, will renew their strength”, or “what God has for me. It is for me” or a “thanks, but no thanks”  or no response in special cases are adequate ways of curtailing busy bodies.

Keep Productive
Singles are a viable force in the church. Simply put, they can go places where married people cant. They don’t have all the obligations of family to think about. Stay active in the church and stay focused on Christ and his imminent return.

Don’t Be Desperate. Keep your standards high.
Never settle. It’s better to be alone than unhappy. Compromising your beliefs by wearing super provacative clothing to church and associating with people who don't have your same standards is foolish and desperate.
“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”- Colossians 3:12

Laughing at every joke someone makes is also very unattractive. Constantly calling them or watching them incessantly at church from any distance is stalking. It's creepy, unattractive and uncool. This includes stalking their Myspace, adding all their friends as your friends, Facebooking them to death, emailing them nonsense, and texting them idle conversation.
They moved on. Life goes on, and so should you.
{} A meek and loving spirit never goes out of style. Pray for the Spirit of discernment that you will be able to distinguish people's motives. You'll be able to form better friendships and be able to spot a wolf in sheep's clothing a mile away.
{} Liven up yourself.
The Bible says when we are fasting, we musn't have long, tired faces, lest in so doing, we let anyone know that we are fasting.Instead, we should wash our faces, so no on eknows, only God.And He will reward us openly for that whch we have done in secret.
The same applies to the single life. Don't complain to anyone about your being single or unmarried. Or if you are, stop. Stop looking depressed, desperate and thirsty. Quench yourself with the Living Waters. Wash your face. Tidy up. Comb your hair. Shave! talk to the Lord about everything.
Abide in Him, and He will bless you abundantly.

I also want to thank all of you for sharing, reposting and commenting on last week's Turn't Up Tuesday special feature: From Porn to the Pulpit. 

Minister Danielle Williams is a special woman with a special message for everyone. There are those who are in the church who want to live the lifestyle she came out of, and those that secretly are. Please read and be encouraged by her testimony, and listen to her exhalation of the Most High as she relays how he brought her out of a miry lifestyle into one full of happiness, peace and joy.

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